What is “unique” beauty?

                                  Is it a particular feature that is unlike anyone else’s?                                   Is it something that makes you stand out or fit in?

The definition of UNIQUE: being the only one of its kind; unlike anything else.

The Thesaurus on UNIQUE: distinctive, distinct, individual, special, idiosyncratic, single, sole, lone, unrepeated, unrepeatable, solitary, exclusive, rare, uncommon, unusual.

The Definition of BEAUTY – a combination of quantities, such as shape, color, or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, especially the sight.

In today’s society, we are told that skinny is beautiful or flat stomachs and big boobs are beautiful. Men are told six packs, and large biceps are what is acceptable.

I am not alone when I say we struggle with the world’s definition of beauty….and what’s worse is the pressure we put on ourselves because of our understanding of that beauty.

I once watched a program about the people who go out and hunt for the next generation of supermodels. They look for “unique” features that will make that supermodel stand out…long arms, space between their teeth…anything that defines them.

The features they find may not be apparently beautiful to us, but once they show them in the light of a camera and display their “unique” feature as something that should be beautiful, all of sudden our minds tell us that her “uniqueness” is “beauty.”  Not because we would have thought so if we saw her walking down the street…in-fact…we might have thought her feature was odd or miss placed, but shown in a positive light on the page of an upscale magazine and suddenly we feel inadequate because we don’t have her unique feature!

How silly we are as human beings…that undiscovered supermodel might have once been teased because of her uniqueness, but because someone of position saw her as uniquely beautiful she is now celebrated for that same uniqueness!

So here is the question…why don’t you, I, celebrate our own uniqueness?
Let me guess…you just said, “What unique beauty? All I have is ________!” (Fat, skinny, big this, small that, too much, not enough!)

WAIT! Hold on just a second and let me tell you my story and share some perspective.

If you can classify commonness as uniqueness, then you would have classified me well. I am common. In fact…I have about 101 doppelgängers out there. I rarely go anywhere where someone doesn’t know me, or have gone to school with me, or say I look like this person they know.

I’ve had to tell more people than I can count, “No, we didn’t go to school together. That would have been impossible because I was homeschooled!” (This exact situation has happened from Georgia to California.)

I’ve even had people I was around three times a week, for three years, ask me if I had started working at a local doctors office….you would have thought after all that time together they would have found a unique feature that set me apart…but no, I am common, so much so, people get me confused with other people they have known or know in their life.

And yet, I have a uniqueness! Because no one I know is ME! No one has my features and qualities wrapped in the same package, no one has my background or my dreams.

BUT, I get it….It’s HARD!

It’s hard to find a feature or quality uniquely beautiful when people around you tell you that things aren’t “just right” for you. Let me explain…I once had an osteopathic doctor ask me if I realized my nose was crocked!

“Gee doc, no, I honestly never noticed my nose was crocked, but I’m sure I will now, thanks!”

I’m not honestly upset by the doctors’ comment, he wasn’t trying to be rude or demeaning…I think…he was just pointing out that my muscles were pulling things out of whack. However, I scrutinize my nose now.

I also once had a family member point out that the “ladies” in our family have short chins that give the appearance of double chins as they age….I jokingly refer to them now as “chinneckins,” (think canckles but for your chin and neck.) So, I’ve scrutinized my jawline ever since.

All this happened because someone thought that my uniqueness was reminiscent of flaws and not beauty. I do not, under any circumstance think I am ugly or flawed because of how I was formed in my mother’s womb, or because of any accidents that might have caused unnatural changes…like a neck injury, or scars, or carrying children.

At some point, we have to stop looking at ourselves as flawed and start seeing our unique qualities as our personal beauty to be celebrated. Maybe then we will stop feeling sorry for ourselves, stop telling ourselves we could be better, and start taking back our lives for what they were meant to be…a life of excellence.

However, let me say, this is not an excuse to live unhealthy lives but should inspire the opposite; a life that is so enjoyed that we want to keep ourselves healthy so that we can enjoy it to its fullest. If you feel your flaw is being fat, then stop worrying about being skinny, just be you and live healthily and the rest will take care of its self!

If you feel your flaw is a large nose, think about all the actors who have owned a unique nose and become insanely successful and wealthy, your nose isn’t holding you back, your attitude about it is!

Stop thinking of your flaws as a fault and start thinking of them as a uniqueness that makes you, YOU! You are uniquely beautiful, own it!

There will always be someone whose definition of beauty you won’t fit, but there are people out there whose definition of beauty you fit perfectly. Hold your head up! You don’t need the world’s approval, you just need that one important person who defines your uniqueness as beauty…YOU…and before you know what has happened you’re walking the runway of life like a supermodel! 😉